I have a serious case of packers block. It’s a mess in my room upstairs, I have everything ready to go into the bag, bag open, and nothing inside. I think it’s because something isn’t ready to leave yet. Goodbyes are the thing in life I hate the most, anyone who knows me knows that I get awkward when it’s time to say goodbye, like even after lunch or something. I guess it’s something I never learned, but I don’t know that I want to learn it either.
For me, this is strange because I am a PLANNER. I like to have everything organized, sorted and controlled, which is sort of the theme so far for Asia for me. Although this transition has harbored a lot of anxiety for me, I also think that I have been able to learn a lot about myself through it. Three weeks ago I was actually dreading going, I felt nauseous about it for a long time and I wasn’t able to function well. I took some time to dig in and see what was actually bothering me about it and found out a few things about myself. Primarily I discovered that as much as I have dreamed about South East Asia, I have never done any actual research on the area, like at all. Before leaving, I did a little, I mapped out what countries I wanted to visit, bought a travel book on them and then assumed the knowledge would transfer from the book to me, because I didn’t read it. I didn’t have a plan, or an idea of what I was doing and I think that’s what was scaring me the most. The unknown is so daunting. I had ideas in my head from movies or articles from Facebook or something but I actually knew nothing about transportation, sights to see, the cities, anything.
People (backpackers) are always so carefree and easygoing, go with the flow, see what happens when it happens, and so I assumed that’s exactly how I should do it too, land in BKK and see what happens, I realized though, that is not for me. It’s not who I am. So, I started there, I researched and figured out what in the world there was to do. I found a cool website called workaway.info that lets you find work, all over the world, in exchange for food and shelter. SO COOL. I made a profile, found a super cute hotel, contacted them and now I will be working there for 3 months instead of hopping around from country to country solo. Once I swallowed the pill of I’M LEAVING, I also decided it would be smart to look at how to get to the airport in Nice, France from Turin, hotels in Bangkok for when I land, and all the other normal thingsI was avoiding doing. Doing this, obviously, subsided SO much of my anxiety. It TRULY amazes me, how much braver the generations before me had to be when traveling though, they were diving into the unknown. I pretend to be that way, and in a lot of ways I am, especially when I’m with another person. Alone however, it’s a different thing, I’m a little more conservative and like to be in control. I realized that I also have my phone at my disposal, and thousands of articles and reviews online to help me get an idea of what to do, see and eat in ANY location in the world. It’s incredible, and settles my mind down significantly.
Any city in the whole world is the same, I mean not at all, but same in the way that people live there, and have survived there, and will have all the things that you would need to survive there too. People live normal lives, with their families, groceries, friends, cars etc. Although the writing might be different or the transportation might look different, all these things exist. With knowledge comes power, and I feel like I should get this as a tattoo (sorry Grams), to remind myself of these new facts I have learned
So, all of that to say, Saturday, I will be going on an 18 hour plane ride to Bangkok Thailand. For me, this is a pretty crazy milestone. I have dreamed my whole life of visiting South East Asia and I’m so excited that that dream is coming true. It’s so fun for me too because a year or two ago I wouldn’t have even imagined that I would be here, right now experiencing any of this. I thought I would be in CO with my two puppies and my new fiancée, planning a life and trying to stop myself from being depressed because I was still in my hometown. But, THANK GOD I’m not there, and instead I’m on this super cool adventure, discovering the world and all of the incredible people in it. I will be 12 hours ahead of my humans from Colorado, which is super convenient for figuring out when you can call me or not. I am so grateful for those of you who have called me, and patiently waiting the calls of everyone else :)I love hearing from you all.
I feel like I have so much more to write, so look forward to a few more articles maybe this week.
Thanks for reading, as always,