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Am I Dreaming?

Living in Thailand still feels like a dream. I spent two months in paradise, living with some of the coolest people and experiencing such wild things everyday. I'm still not sure how to process it all and I can’t explain why but time moves really strange on that island. Sometimes it felt like I had been there for 2 months, and sometimes just a few days, but I really crammed so many fun and interesting memories into the last 8 weeks. I want to start making YouTube videos to share some of them with you. Just have to figure out WHEN.

In the meantime here is a video from the location I went scuba diving, it was just as stunning as the video shows and I'm bummed I don't have my own camera to be making these kinds of videos. LUCKILY we live in a world of media and content so someone else captured the beauty for me. Enjoy it.

Looking back on traveling the last 6 months, its strange because I think SO many things happened that its hard for my brain to recall the specific memories, unless I really sit down and think about it, so maybe this is a way to capture them forever and be able to go back and recall.

Although it was one of the most fun few months of my life, I also struggle with things too. On the island I struggled immensely almost everyday with self-esteem and feeling beautiful. Its not something I’m used to doing but, it's hard living in a community where theres a bunch of other gorgeous, fit, women running around and not wanting to compare yourself or put yourself down in comparison to them. I am slowly understanding my own unique beauty, and also coming to terms with my 'travel body'. I have found it extremely difficult to be able to eat in a consistent way that my body likes and doesn't punish me for, but so far, to no avail. All of my clothes fit me but I feel bloated often and definitley not "fit" or "in shape". Its frustrating because Im not used to feeling this way, or not feeling like I have at least a little more control over how my body and skin looks.

On the complete opposite note, I feel like I was more in line with myself, with who Rachel is and her strengths, and passions. I could operate in my skills everyday and understand how they were best put to use and where. Im understanding that I really enjoy management, branding and organization. I like systems and structure and thrive when they're in place and I'm excited to see where knowing these things takes me.

So I guess slowly slowly I will keep learning about balance. Balancing time, food, relationships and time to reflect back too!

Hope you're all wonderful, drop a comment below, I love to hear from you.

I also have a new system I'm using if you want to schedule a video chat with me you can! I would love to catch up anytime you're free.

Thanks for reading!


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